Single, unemployed, homeless and broaching 30. Failing miserably at life?

In my early 20’s I was sure I had my life all mapped out. By the age of 30 I was going to have made my way to the top of the Alfred Hospital’s Dietetic Department, be well and truly married and about to pop out a baby or two. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that nearing 30 (OK so I am 29 this year) I would be single, unemployed and homeless with all my worldly belongings consolidated to a few boxes here and there scattered across Melbourne. If I had of known I was to become nothing more than a transient wandering the earth I think I would have just put myself out of my misery right there and then. But that is the beauty of life, it takes on you wild adventures you could never have dreamed you would want.

So it appears … single, unemployed and homeless … and surprisingly the happiest time of my life.

At 20 years of age, 30 seemed like it would never arrive. I imagined myself to be so mature, so grown up and more importantly so ready for all the responsibilities of an adult. But after almost a decade passing in many ways absolutely nothing has changed. The idea of children still terrifies me, I cannot for the life of me imagine being in a relationship let alone married and I don’t even own a car let alone have a home! On paper it might seem like I am failing miserably at life or that I need to get my sh*t well and truly together before I end up a hopeless old spinster – or worse still a cat lady! However most days I am smiling from ear to ear, I am exploring, I am growing, I am learning and more importantly I am living. So while yes on paper I may seem to have it all wrong, in life … I have it all right.

I have never been one to follow the crowd. Give me a trend and 9 times out of 10 I will do the total opposite. When I was younger and everyone was off travelling; travel didn’t interest me in the slightest, it took me years to give in and buy and iPhone and now that it feels like everyone in my age bracket is settling – I have well and truly taken flight. One of the greatest validations in life is that others chose to live their life in a similar way to you. It is the reason that when you are single, you have mostly single friends; when you are getting married, so too is your friendship group and when you have children, what do you know – so do all your friends! When you decide to live your life in a less conventional way, it is often difficult to feel like you belong in regular life. It is easy to question yourself and why you don’t seem to want things that you should want for your age – I mean, you aren’t married and don’t want to be? What the hell is wrong with you?

At 20 I use to admire those who were top of their field. Those who had ticked all the conventional life boxes. Now nearing 30, I admire the ones who have thrown caution to the wind and followed their hearts in choosing to spend their life doing what they love. There is something truly inspiring about people who base their life choices on what makes them happiest. I no longer look at a job and imagine being happy when I have made a successful name for myself or when I finally have made enough money (because let’s face it, there is never enough!). Instead I am inspired by the many different countries around the world whose people have next to nothing and yet appear to be far happier than their Western counterparts. There is something to be said for having less and there is something to be said for being able to be grateful and feel genuine happiness from some of life’s smaller triumphs. Be it clean clothes, a decent meal or bed I have found more happiness in the tiniest of wins since travelling than I was ever able to appreciate when I had more. Why? Because having more will usually result in wanting more… and it’s the wanting that leaves us unsatisfied.

So where to from here? I guess at some stage I will entertain the idea of returning to a somewhat more normal lifestyle. But only when I am sure that these new found life appreciations are so well ingrained that there is no way I could ever return to my former self. For now I will continue to enjoy the sheer freedom that comes from being single, unemployed and without a responsibility in the world. Where my biggest concern is where my next meal will come from. Where I wake up each day and ask myself ‘what would you like to do today?’ and smile knowing I have the total and utter freedom to answer that question any way that I wish. If future Chloe could have a word with past Chloe she wouldn’t be telling her that everything turned out just as she planned, but instead the total opposite … and that it will be the best thing that ever happened to her.

TBFree x

64 Comments on “Single, unemployed, homeless and broaching 30. Failing miserably at life?

  1. Pingback: Friday Findings 2.20.2015 – There Goes Casey

  2. Haha, “or worse, being the cat lady!”. I can so relate to this. In high school my friends teased me on becoming the cat lady, and now on 26 I am still single. I don’t mind being single, but NO ONE wants to be the cat lady!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this! I’m now on the way to throwing caution to the wind coz I want to relish in the thrill.

    Hopefully I’ll get to have a taste of that wanderlust soon!


  4. Love what you’ve written! Especially on throwing caution to the wind. Am currently trying to do just that.

    Hopefully will get to taste the thrill of the wanderlust soon!


  5. Wow I really enjoyed reading this post of yours. Exactly my mentality when it comes to “having more resulting in wanting more”.

    Before I decided to completely change career fields, lots of family members objected the idea because I had a good career and making good $$. Their mentality is that…why throw it away when you have all that? I know…first world problem…but bottom line is, what I’m doing doesn’t make me happy, not to mention a job is pretty much 80% of my life, so why not do something that makes me happy?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You remind me of myself in so many ways! Most recent quote I’m loving “peace in my heart, peace in my soul, no matter where I am going, I am always home”. Carry on my fellow sun shiny butterfly


  7. Great blog. I love it that you are doing what YOU love. Wish I had come to this thought/action in my 20’s before my first marriage. Now at 67, different marriage, SS for income, husband and I are getting ready to hit the road in our little pop-up tent trailer for longer travels to places we have not yet been, with the same feeling of freedom and happiness that you are experiencing. May your journey continue to bring joyful memories to you….. and wishing the same for myself!


  8. Reblogged this on SingleShot Photography and commented:
    At 37, I can say I am still doing what is considered unconventional, and some days I wonder if I made right choices, but when it comes down to it, I know they were right and I wouldn’t change anything 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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