Alone at Christmas

As a general rule I prefer my writing to be positive and uplifting, however there is one time of year I do find this a little challenging. The time of year when there is an intense focus on family and those you love. The time of year where you stop to celebrate the important people in your life and show this through feasts, gifts and time together. Of course, I am talking about Christmas.

However today I am going to write about how it feels to have no family at Christmas time.

In a fairly unheard of situation … I have no immediate family. I cannot remember the last time I received a Christmas gift nor do I get the opportunity to buy them. On Christmas day my options are to be taken in by others and observe just what it is that I am missing or spend it totally alone. For 11 months of the year I can generally get by without feeling excluded. However the month of December is like the whole world is part of an exclusive club and I am not invited. I watch the happiness dance and twirl around me in the faces of others but I am not included. Having no family at Christmas time, is one of the worst feelings in the world.

The reason I chose to write about this is because I am attempting to get across a powerful message. It is common in life to fall into the trap of taking anything that appears to be a given for granted. It can be a little too easy to stop being grateful for the fact that you are employed, you have a home, have food to eat and that you have people in your life who care for you unconditionally. After all we almost consider these to be human rights and don’t often consider that for many this isn’t the case. Similarly family isn’t something that is bestowed upon all of us. And when you sit down to your meal on Christmas day surrounded by family or perhaps having just Skyped family, I hope you take the time to appreciate just how incredibly lucky you are to the have that opportunity.

“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it” – Mary Engelbreit

A very wise friend of mine once quoted these words to me many years ago and they have always stuck with me. While I will likely spend this Christmas alone, and will likely feel a little sorry for myself, I know that this is not a permanent situation as nothing in life is permanent. One day I will have my own family and will appreciate this time of year more than most because I know how it feels to go without. I hope that for you who is reading this right now, that you never have to feel alone at Christmas. But that you are able to read this and feel tremendous gratitude for what you have, no matter how little it may be and truly appreciate your family especially at this time of year.

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.” – Anthon St. Maarten

TBFree xx

5 Comments on “Alone at Christmas

  1. Unfortunately for me I will not be able to create another family. Everyone has died. I have no immediate family members left and my only child died a few years ago. I do have extended family but never feel quite right with them at this time of the year. All other times of the year I enjoy them and we have good adventures and visits. I will be alone this year and every year. I am trying to find something to do, somewhere to go to escape the sense of being alone. Probably the best I will do is to be alone somewhere different but that might just shift me out of this awful state of mind for awhile. It doesn’t seem to get better each year for me as some people have told me. Just different. Peace to all and thank you for writing about this subject. Not much is ever said about it.


    • I am sorry to hear of your situation. I do hope for you that with time you are able to find peace with the circumstances. Not because it is in any way fair, but because unfortunately that really the only option for the unfair cards life can deal. I too am still trying to find this peace and know all too well of its difficulty. Take care of yourself this festive season x


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